The Passionate Housekeeper
to a Job Applicant

 by Elena Santangelo

Apologies to Christopher Marlowe and his "The Passionate Shepherd To His Love" (1593)

dedicated to my best friend, Linda

Come live with me and be my maid,
Although you would be underpaid,
Come scrub and mop and wash and dust
And polish bronze on Groucho's bust.

And I will sit upon my bum—
Housework, I find, is wearisome—
Later I'll go hit the malls,
While you are mucking out the stalls.

And you will make the beds, exceptin'
Those last night that were not slept in;
Wash my undies and my girdle;
Don't forget to walk the turtle.

Air my sweater of Shetland wool,
Careful that the threads don't pull;
Fetch my slippers (toes are cold),
And vacuum out the whole household.

Then from the hearth sweep up the ash
And afterwards put out the trash;
If these delights might you persuade,
Come live with me and be my maid.

Copyright ©2006, Elena Santangel

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