by Elena Santangelo

Sung to the tune of  "If I Only Had a Heart."

(with a tip o' the hat to Harold Arlen)

I would wile away lunch hour
If pork I could devour
Along with my eggnog.
Chops and ribs I'd be eating,
On my diet I'd be cheating
If I only had a hog.

Oh Iwould bake a pie
A quiche of ham and cheese.
A casserole of sausage Viennese
And then I'd wrap the rest to freeze.

Later on you'd find me makin'
Some mushrooms wrapped in bacon
And best washed down with grog.
Glazed ham spicy or mild
I could outcook Julia Child
If I only had a hog.

Copyright 1999, Elena Santangelo

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